But I'm PRETTY?!?!.....

So I was inspired to write this blog b/c I am reading this kind of crazy book about all sorts of different characters but one of them is this girl who is dating a boy who has a sort of stuttering problem and she ends up falling in love with him, and makes him start taking speech classes and sort of like constantly improving him... and starts to seriously smother and mother him. He ends up going away on a trip and falling in love with another woman, who is MUCH less unattractive and he confesses to his girlfriend that he is in love with someone else and that he is planning on asking her to marry him, and all the "pretty" girl can say is that but she's so unattractive... once you come back to town you will realize what you are missing and come back to me. He even though he assures her he won't she won't let it go. This caused me to pause and reflect on my past life experiences. For example, my ex boyfriend in college... when I found out he was cheating on me... it was with a girl who was seriously HIDEOUS... i know that sounds so shallow and so awful for me to say, but it was seriously true. And I remember me and all my girlfriends thinking... but you're so pretty how could he break-up with you for her? like she doesn't even know how to do her hair, etc... And I know me and my girls aren't the only ones doing this. We aren't seriously that stuck up that we think everyone is beneath us. And it is a sickening fact that we are constantly always thinking, But I'm prettier, how could this happen?!?! I know its shallow and stupid and obviously there is a reason I think in my case (actually I know in my case) it was b/c I couldn't AND WOULDN'T be controlled and (the ex which we will call C) didn't know how to act in a relationship where i didn't do everything he said, but when it first happened all I could dwell on was that I was pretty... and she wasn't instead of the real factors of what went wrong in the relationship. I tend to do this and use this excuse a lot instead of probably what really went wrong, and it is seriously sickening that it took me reading a stupid romance novel to realize how stupid I've sounded for the past 5 years. Anyway, I am currently writing this blog to wake-up other girls to this, and to make sure that I never use that stupid line again. B/C i knew exactly how that character in the book felt, and it is seriously so conceited it is gross and I never have thought of myself as that way before. I mean of course I have self-confidence, but you know what i mean... Anyway, I just thought that was pretty interesting and wanted to share.
xoxo
Kati