So men are a little like shoes.... here's why

So I came across a little quote today that i can't believe how very true it is.... "Men are like shoes. The ones you fall for aren't always the ones you can live with." But to add to that quote I think that once you find that very favorite pair of shoes (the ones you absolutely CAN'T live with out) the ones that no matter how dirty/raggedy/broken/uncomfortable they get you patch them/fix them up/add some dr. scholls for a little extra comfort just so you can still keep them around. That in a way is like the man that you choose to be your forever. I have had boyfriends (like certain pairs of shoes) that are great for a couple seasons, absolutely perfect and you want to wear them as much as you possibly can, sure they might be a little painful, but you still love 'em. Yet eventually you seem to grow out of them, they seem less appealing, nothing really changed about them but your style sort of changed and you eventually grow apart from them. Much like boyfriends. But there is always that one pair of shoes that no matter how long or how uncomfortable or how raggedy they get you still love them, and know you can always drag them out to match whatever outfit you dreamed up. For me this particular pair of shoes I bought at a random boutique down on 39th St. in Kansas City by the famed Missie B's bar. (however legend goes that I bought them at a random estate sale in Leawood from an old woman who never got the chance to wear them... a lady named Sylvia... and to this day everytime I dust them off and put them on my mom exclaims... Oh Sylvia's Cruisewear is makin it's debut of the season) See I dreamed up this little story bc at the time I had just graduated highschool and was spending my graduation money like water... mostly on clothes (I had and still have a serious shopping addiction). Anyway I wasn't allowed to be shopping for anything other than college dorm room essentials... and at least I had good intentions for that if i found these beautiful wedges at an estate sale instead of the trendy boutique that they came from. Anyway back to the point, I had no idea when I first purchased these wonderful wedges the love affair that I would have with them. I have had them for six WONDERFUL years, and I have glued, reglued, and re-soled these shoes (a lot more recently) and no matter what happens with my Sylvia's Cruisewear, I will wear them proudly because they are my one true love in shoes. They are the most comfortable and will always be the most perfect pair of shoes that I have ever and will ever own. Sort of like one specific man in my life. Sure we've had our SERIOUS ups and downs ( much like the rips and broken pieces of my shoes) but we've so far always managed to patch up our problems, and glue ourselves back together. Much like you put your favorite shoes in the closet, maybe even forget about them for a little bit, you always manage to dust them back off and realize how much they mean to you and remember how much you love them, and why you fell in love with them in the first place. I hope this makes a little bit of sense... i know it really does to me. And I know that I can always fix anything as long as I continue to love and care for it.

xoxox
Kati*

Apparently b/c I can't stand self-help books my life has become somewhat of a SOAP OPERA

So my BF "M" recently started reading this book called The Secret... and she and many of my other friends SWEAR that it will change your life. Now being the person I am I ABSOLUTELY positively HATE 'self-help' or advice books of ANY kind!!! I know in some ways it is kind of ignorant, but I kinda feel like I can figure life out on my own and i don't really need some 'expert' who probably really isn't an expert at all share secrets with me about how to live my life. I feel like I am doing a pretty damn good job of it on my own. Nevertheless, I have listened to some of the 'secrets' M has learned from this book and sometimes when she tells me them I sort of laugh to myself and think... Isn't that just basic instinct?... well for me at least. For example, one of the secrets is to always think positive, the universe doesn't understand negatives. AKA if you are always thinking you are going to walk to the mailbox and get a bill you will... or if you are always thinking NO MORE BILLS... you will get bills. And if you think positively (for example in my life If I think I am gonna sell a lot today... you will) This actually proved to be true when I actively thought positively and wanted to really sell I did, yet I already practiced this.... and I wonder seriously do you need a book to tell you to think positively?!?! Shouldn't that just be something you are wired to do?! Apparently this isn't everyone. That sort of baffles me a little, but people really fascinate me how differently we are all wired to think and react.
Another 'self-help' book which i VEHEMENTLY boycotted was the He's Just Not That Into You book by that asshole guy who wanted to 'advise' all the desperate women of the world. PLEASE. I have done absolutely fine in relationships without that stupid book and most girls who have read it, are seriously screwed up from it and are WAY too afraid to act or be themselves around guys specifically because of that stupid book. ANNOYING.
I guess you could really chalk my intolerance for 'self-help' or 'self-improvement' books could be chalked up to my good old fashioned Irish blood which coarses with horrific stubbornness and the idea that everything we think or believe is absolutely TRUE... which I will admit. I am very much like this, I hate to recieve advice... yet I LOVE TO GIVE IT, and you might as well be talking to a mirror when trying to give some to me, because I will ALWAYS and I MEAN ALWAYS do whatever I want, even if it means learning things the hard way. Which is probably why my life is somewhat like a soap opera, but i am happy in my soap opera life, and no matter what any stupid self-help books say.... It really is a perfect way to live....
****XOXO*******
Kati

I should seriously use my life experiences for soap opera material... and I am NOT kidding.

So this week has been quite an interesting one to say the least. I have been sort of playing the field, flirting with boys and what not since the break-up, but I have DEFINITLY not entered into a relationship! Anyway, I have been able to juggle a few without any of them finding out until recently. I went to my fave bar where I may or may not have been chatting with an employee, last thursday. Well, everything is going well, until another love interest shows up. AHHHH, I already had to play this event off the week before and did a pretty good job of it, but this time was entirely different! And ended up in a trainwreck by the end of the night. So... it all started when i was chatting away to (we will call him) X when all of the sudden Y walks in behind me.. I turn around and casually say hi, and then turn back to talking to X. At about this time, I decide to go back to the regular bar area to find Mindy, as I walk towards the bar I see Y chatting with another girl, and buying her a drink. This drives me nuts, bc i really do like Y a lot... so I turn to Mindy for advice, she tells me to go up to the bar and buy a drink then give a long a hard look a Y, I try this trick, nothing... so then i take matters into my own hands and go over to chat with X. This trick works as soon as i make my way back over to Mindy.. Y comes right to my side. I talk to him for a little and then decide this is really getting to stressful so I tell mindy I am going to go wait for her in the car. I start to leave, when I see X and tell him I am leaving and goodbye... he says he is going to walk me to me car... so he is behind me when I walk out (apparently Y is also behind him and hears him say to one of the bouncers I am gonna get some I'll be back)... well we get out to the back patio and out the gate when I get a phone call from Y, so naturally I answer... and he is like Kati, you have to get back in here, you need to come talk to mindy, and you didn't say bye to her... so i turn around to go back in.. Y is waiting on the patio... X is right behind me... AHHHHH I am screaming in my head mentally... on the outside I am trying to act normal. SO i just walk inside and leave x and y bythemselves... we get inside and Y tells me what he heard X say... at this point I am livid with X and want nothing to do with him. So I stay inside, get another drink and ignore him. Eventually he tries to figure out what is going on, Y wants me to walk out back with him, but i don't really want to rub everything in X's face so I tell him i am walking out the front. Then Y gets mad, whatever... I can't deal with the drama anymore so i did what i wanted and walked out the front. Only to find Y waiting at the car for me... interesting. We get in a lil spat and he drives me and mindy home. From there I get a call from X, I didn't feel like talking about everything so I just told him I would call him in the morning, when I wake up I see a text from X... that reads: I'm not stupid even though I may look it. Don't bother calling me back... Interesting, I call anyway to set him straight that he isn't my boyfriend and can't really be all that mad at me. I haven't heard from him since. Y is also mad I believe... who knows really with him? we are constantly pulling nonsense like this on eachother... but anyway..unfortunately now i cannot return to my fave bar... b/c i am likely to get kicked out or something even more crazy will happen... it really sucks and my only advice is to NEVER like a boy that works at your fave night spot! keep on a crush basis ONLY!!!!
*Kati

But I'm PRETTY?!?!.....

So I was inspired to write this blog b/c I am reading this kind of crazy book about all sorts of different characters but one of them is this girl who is dating a boy who has a sort of stuttering problem and she ends up falling in love with him, and makes him start taking speech classes and sort of like constantly improving him... and starts to seriously smother and mother him. He ends up going away on a trip and falling in love with another woman, who is MUCH less unattractive and he confesses to his girlfriend that he is in love with someone else and that he is planning on asking her to marry him, and all the "pretty" girl can say is that but she's so unattractive... once you come back to town you will realize what you are missing and come back to me. He even though he assures her he won't she won't let it go. This caused me to pause and reflect on my past life experiences. For example, my ex boyfriend in college... when I found out he was cheating on me... it was with a girl who was seriously HIDEOUS... i know that sounds so shallow and so awful for me to say, but it was seriously true. And I remember me and all my girlfriends thinking... but you're so pretty how could he break-up with you for her? like she doesn't even know how to do her hair, etc... And I know me and my girls aren't the only ones doing this. We aren't seriously that stuck up that we think everyone is beneath us. And it is a sickening fact that we are constantly always thinking, But I'm prettier, how could this happen?!?! I know its shallow and stupid and obviously there is a reason I think in my case (actually I know in my case) it was b/c I couldn't AND WOULDN'T be controlled and (the ex which we will call C) didn't know how to act in a relationship where i didn't do everything he said, but when it first happened all I could dwell on was that I was pretty... and she wasn't instead of the real factors of what went wrong in the relationship. I tend to do this and use this excuse a lot instead of probably what really went wrong, and it is seriously sickening that it took me reading a stupid romance novel to realize how stupid I've sounded for the past 5 years. Anyway, I am currently writing this blog to wake-up other girls to this, and to make sure that I never use that stupid line again. B/C i knew exactly how that character in the book felt, and it is seriously so conceited it is gross and I never have thought of myself as that way before. I mean of course I have self-confidence, but you know what i mean... Anyway, I just thought that was pretty interesting and wanted to share.
xoxo
Kati

"If I weren't perpetually 10 minutes late, would my life be totally different?"- Carrie Bradshaw... This is so my life...

So yesterday as I was facebooking at work I came across this very thought provoking quote... and it seriously got me to wondering how different my life would be if I wasn't perpetually late. I probably would have been a lot less annoying to all my boyfriends, promising to be over at a certain time and usually not showing up until about 1/2 hour to an hour late. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, or see them, I just have really I mean REALLY poor time management skills. I even have this problem when it comes time to paying bills, planning trips, saving money, etc. For example, I had been planning my new years trip to Minneapolis for like a month and a half, and suddenly the NIGHT before I left I realized all these last minute things I had to do, like a. do laundry so I could actually have some decent clothes, b. pack, c. go shopping for a new years dress (which didn't happen until new years and that was a total disaster) d. buy an adapter for my iPod so i could have some music...which i probably bought the worlds worst radio adapter so the whole ride up me and b were constantly moving the iPod and adapter all over the car trying to get reception. Anyway... back to my original thought... I seriously think that if I wasn't always late for everything how different would my life be? I know I wouldn't always be finding myself in the crazy prediciments that I currently find myself in constantly... I wouldn't always be in such a rush that I miss everything... anyway just a lil thought! More later
xoxo
*kati

Clumsy = so me....

So my girl B has been saying for awhile now that Fergie's song 'Clumsy' is so me.. and I have always been like... I have no clue what you are talking about... i have never heard that song. Well I finally heard, and actually i have heard it a few million times, i just never knew the name of the song... anyway it is so true. I really do act like fergie in that song and it has recently become one of my new faves. I guess i never really listened to the words, but it is so true... that i am one of those (sometimes fortunate, but sometimes unfortunate) girls that breaks up and falls back in love quickly. The unfortunate part of this is...
a. i am waaay to trusting at times (which means that sometimes i believe guys bc i want them to be a certain way) aka i live in a dreamworld if i really like someone
b. i fall quick and i fall hard (according to K this is bc i am a pisces.. .which apparently is the most complicated sign of all)
but fortunately... i have become a little bit smarter about guys than i used to be, and i have grown up a tiny bit in the relationship department... so we will see how this develops
I also have a horrible tendency to never follow anyone elses advice when it comes to relationships and dating. I always ALWAYS follow only my heart... and never really my head... which at times is great but at times is really terrible. And i am also really good at overlooking all obstacles in my way and dreaming of the perfect relationship beyond that. I guess i am just a dreamer... completely unpractical... and i rarely ever see things in black and white.
Anyway... i think i am just going to see where all of this takes me and hopefully my life will work out.?!
But I am currently enjoying every minute of '08!
*kati

On the way to a more fit, less gossipy, less flaky, more directed ME in 08!

Since it is January and everyone has to make new year's resolutions i guess i will make a few myself, bc despite what i think, i most certainly am NOT perfect. So lets see... RESOLUTIONS:
a. I resolve to actually go to the gym and put the money i am spending on it to good use. ---seriously i need people to help me on this one since K seems to have ditched me at the gym and i have been stuck going by myself :( never fun...
b. I resolve to try to not gossip as much, i know it is absolutely terrible, but i am a bit of a gossip.
c. I resolve to call people back when i say i am going to. I am terrible at this one, and i know people think i am really flaky for it, but i really do forget to call people, i have the thought, and then i get preoccupied and my intentions just fly out the window. its horrible. This resolution might also pose a problem with my previous resolution bc when i call people i usually tend to gossip about others, but i guess i can't be perfect all the time. right? anyway...next...
d. I resolve to try to be less of a drama queen. This is going to be a big step for me and i am really going to have to work on it. But i have been doing pretty well for the past 5 days... minus my lil bit of a drama-capade in minneapolis. sorry b.
e. I resolve to start making my plans and applying to make-up school in Cali, so i can get the heck out of ks. Although it will be sad to leave all my friends and family. ks just isn't for me.

Well i think that is a pretty good list, i am sure there is soooo much more that i could be resolving but i will leave that all for next year.

xoxo
*kati

Hailed a cab, wiped out on the downtown street, and met some cute band boys...

So my trip to Minneapolis for New Years was quite an interesting adventure. B and I left for the long trek around 9:30 Saturday morning. Finally on the road after a. i forgot my sunglasses at home and had to turn around, b. got gas, and c. remembered to change the cds in the back so we could have some good tunes other than my iPod. The beginning of the trip started off a little boring... we were definitly dreading the 7 hours in the car... however it got better with a little car dancing and listening to some of our highschool mixes. I am sure we looked real cool driving and dancing all over the place, but we had fun. Then we stopped in Des Moines to eat a little mickey d's... while i was enjoying my cheeseburger, i seriously had two bites before i tragically bit into a hard piece. omg seriously? this would only happen to me... anyway after I spit it back out to see what it was me and b came to the DISGUSTING conclusion that it was a tiny shard of bone... which immediately made me flash back to scenes from that new movie with Johnny Depp... Sweeny Todd.. and you can only imagine what i was thinking... disgusting meat pies made of humans little to say that was the last bite i took and i am not sure if i can bring myself to ever eat there again. I don't enjoy bone burgers. anyway... i brushed it off, like i needed all those calories anyway. So back on the road and we finally made it to Minneapolis 6 1/2 hours later. not bad. i guess i might be a little bit of a speed demon. anyway, we get to my sis' apt, she was at work so me and b jumped right into getting ready to go, still no plans or any idea where in downtown minneapolis we would end up, our first destination was my sis' work, the local. We ate dinner and then continued to drink...and drink. my sis ordered me a drink called something crazy but it was a mix of jameson, something?, and cranberry juice. lethal for me. whiskey for me always equals crazy kati. B was feeling a little ill but she did try to keep up with me. later we decided to try out the rest of the bar scene not knowing really what we would find we wound up at a bar called brits. it was fun, there was a hot bald bartender, but that was about the extent of the fun for that bar. so we tried to walk somewhere else but b's throat was killing her and i really hate HATE to walk in the cold, so we turned back and wound back up at the local w/ my sis. I had a grand old time chatting and making up different stories about eachother. late into the night after many rum and diets, and jamesons, a boy asked me if i wanted to go to the kissing room... i was like.. yes a NEW BAR lets go right now!!!! b glares at me like are you serious?! death stares... and then proceeds to tell me it is some sick room in the back on the way to the bathrooms where people go to you know... so then i was like NO nevermind i thought it was a different bar... what a creep please. seriously again, something that would only happen to me. Anyway we ended up back at home around 3:30 am... the next day i left b to sleep while me and my sis enjoyed a great lunch of vietnamese and then me, b, dahli, and her boy toy randy all went to see Juno. This was such a great i highly reccommend it. I laughed the entire movie. Next we went to dinner at my aunt priscilla's house to see the fam. I got to see my cousins new lil baby wyatt and chat with everyone, so that was really great. When we got home dahli and b napped while i tried to be patient and watch a lil tv before steppin out. Patience is not a virtue that i was blessed with so this was a very trying task. but i managed ok. so then we went out to a bar that was supposed to be having a couple dj's and a dance party. the dance party consisted of 3 strange-o's dancing, but that bar did make great martini's so we a had a few and then moved on to dahli's regular bar grumpy's downtown. which was interesting. me and b definitly stuck out in that crowd but it was still a great time. we then decided to go eat a little mexican food at 2 am.. at a little hole in the wall restuaraunt down the street from dahlis house. so we had to walk. by this time i am seriously over walking in -20 degree weather, but i didn't complain, well only a little. so dahli and b are seriously spped walking to the restauraunt and i am taking my sweet time, and i warn them that i hope i don't get stolen as they make it to the restauraunt and go inside without me. as soon as the words come out of my mouth a man appears from the shadows down the street and says... hey beautiful where are you going? come back and talk to me! why do guys think that girls will actually turn around to this? yes. please can i? seriously so i continue to walk and say no thanks i am just going to eat w/ my sister. he proceeds to follow me into the restaurant and when he sees that yes i am with people asks the waitress a strange question looks at me and smiles and then leaves. once again only me. b and dahli are cracking up at this point and b says seriously? you pick up a guy where ever you go. i am not amused. the next day we go shopping at the mall of america (or moa as minnesotans call it) b was less than happy (she hates malls and would have much rather spent the day sledding, or sliding if you are minnesotan) sometimes i wonder how we are friends.? anyway... i of course went shopping for the perfect dress, and talked myself out of the one i wanted and bought one that i ended up hating and will incidentally probably never wear, which was a whole other debacle. After shopping til we could drop we swung by my aunt priscillas again for a little chat, some rc, some potato chips, and french onion dip. then we were back off to get ready for dinner and new years. After trying on the entire contents of my suitcase, i finally settled on a dress that i less than loved, but it was far better than the horrible silver mistake of a dress that i bought at forever 21. and we were off to the 112 eatery where we dined on cheeseburgers and champagne. interesting mix i know. then we were off to first avenue, where we enjoyed a concert by brother ali, a pretty great rapper, and me a b tried to consume as much alcohol as humanly possible, and danced the night away with dahli and all her friends. towards the end of the night we were so ready to go home, we seriously were the last people in first ave minus the workers and the band, and dahli keeps assuring me that the 'car' is coming to pick us up, and i say why don't we just go out and get a cab. she says there is no way i will get one on new years, they will all be full, so at this challenge i run out the back door of the club and seriously the minute i stick my hand up a cab come screeching to my rescue. i pound on the door to let them know i got one. ha. and run towards the cab. this is where i wipe out on a sheet of ice, first fall of the new year. of course. but manage to make it fine into the cab, just a little scrape and a run in my hose. but at this point nothing can dampen my night. we get home and have a little dance party before we finally decide to collapse and get a little shut eye before the long drive home. we had a great night to ring in the new year, minus b's half dollar size blisters on the balls of her feet from her boots, and my minor clothing crisis.